The Official Site of Ryan Perrio

Week 15, There is a killer on the loose.

So this week was especially active as I had so much happen in so little time.

This week I neglected fitness totally, I really need to work on my time management so that part of my life doesn’t wane too much. So much time with comedy shows, awkward dates, and geeking out that I truly didnt have time last week to really address fitness.

Awkward dates, well that was Thursday and I will address that more onstage than I do here, just because I wanna try and work that out without everyone having this as a reference point.

I geeked out this week because a couple of weeks ago I was taking out my trash and I noticed a computer tower out by the dumpster. Being the classy person that I am I picked it up and took it home with me. It was a dell optiplex 360, case was a mini ATX. The person that threw it away made a feeble attempt at gutting it, taking the hard drive, memory, and cmos battery. They left the processor (Pentium Dual core 2.93Ghz) and the power supply to the case. After downloading the post light guide to test if it was a bad power supply, I powered it on. Power supply - good, next was the Battery receptacle, the battery receptacle was chipped but could still hold a battery.  Finally I broke down and spent 200$ for a 500GB HD, 4GB RAM, and windows 7 home premium 64bit. Now fully installed I have a pretty nice computer to play with in my living room, while keeping all my sketchy porn on my other computer.

Open mics this week were less than fulfilling as I was only able to glean one tag to the endless saga known as my gym material.

This week I worked with Jeff Burghart and Jason James and had stellar shows all around. I also have started training people in the art of MC skills when I work Hyena’s Dallas on Thursdays. The reason is because when people first start MC work at Hyena’s they are referred to me or another opener on how to be an MC, which is fine, but its usually at an open mic or when I am not working that weekend they ask those things. Being an MC sounds easy but its hard to explain to someone without giving them an example to see.

Sunday was probably my favorite day of the weekend. On Thursday, Paul Varghese did a guest spot and assisted with the awkwardness of Thursday night, during that time he asked me to do a guest spot at the Addison Improv on Sunday. We had a lineup of Jason James, Byron Stamps, Cris Lehman, Myself, Paul Varghese. Jason and Cris each did 20, while me and Byron each had 10. I was especially excited, because Cris is one of my best friends, aside from being a solid feature act. Also with our friendship comes a friendly competition. That’s why he rides with me to open mics, because he knows I am going. He understands every day he isn’t working on his craft, I am. We feed off of that, but since we both get work its a lot easier to handle than when one is getting work and the other isn’t. We take pride in our abilities and have a respect for the other’s abilities as well. We both would love nothing more than to bury the other on stage. When I say bury I mean kill so hard with our material that the other cannot follow, not in a malicious screw the other over kind of set, just your best. We rarely see each other’s set outside of open mics, even then it is just hard to listen to the same set over and over. Which made Sunday’s show such a thrill, because I have to follow Cris after he does 20. His intent was to bury me, and my intent was to follow him. Cris went up and absolutely destroyed, applause break after applause break, Cris delivered. The whole time I just sat and watched, and paced, and listened, it became clear to me that Cris definitely a few steps ahead of me in this game, maybe more, I was unsure. As I watched my emotions would bounce between, sheer excitement, and sheer terror. I was struck with the reality that I may have underestimated Cris, that I may not be able to follow this. He has had headliners struggle after his sets at Hyena’s, what chance do I have? Followed by I am about to dominate this crowd. Cris gets off after his amazing set. I am a whirlwind of emotion and energy. I decide to start fast and not go thru the normal build up process and jump right into gated community. OK response, I feel a tad rushed as I get thru the drive thru portion and take the moment in that act out to relax. I sure as hell wont be able to follow Cris if I don’t rein in the emotion. I get to the mesquite portion and applause and we are off, 10 min of material and I am rolling along. It took a couple of minutes but I dug it out. Which was a big win for me, however now as I wrap up my set I get the stretch signal meaning something is wrong. Now I am having to keep the energy up while rolling out material and not having my 2 big closers. They did the job, and I got out of there in just under 20 minutes. Its a tough road to stretch because you don’t know if there is another light to get you off or do you just do material until you feel like jumping off. Its a little stressing, but I would not succumb.

Things I learned, I am ready to be a feature, but I don’t want to be until I can be a feature on the level of a Cris. I am not far away from that level, but I am not there yet. Cris is absolutely one of the best features I have ever seen. To be able to dig out and follow someone of that caliber is not just a testament my hard work, but also an indicator of how much futher I still have to go. I cant wait to get back to work on all of this at open mics this week.

Week 14 "Let's Review"

Week 13, Waste Management

So after this past week which has been all over the map, Ill run it down as good, ok, and bad

First the good, I am really liking my personal life right now. I’m quite happy and content, I don’t feel the pressures of wanting to be liked or feel as though im an outcast.

The Ok, My fitness has taken a step back after some time constraints due to me sleeping more than I probably should. I have started to run and every day i try to run it rains making the outside track slippery and painful to run.

The bad, my comedy, week of just doing my regular material with no alteration to delivery or tags was just a waste of good stagetime that I just rushed to get out because I have a hard time dealing with silence. This week I vow not to do any of my working solid material just new and old stuff that doesn’t work in the attempt to make it work.

I have written some new stuff today to use in the future, and hope to have one of my patented “writing binges” here soon. Until then I will just keep cranking out material.

Week 12 Better Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

So, Another week has passed, and as I speed forward I have hit a few major snags.

Fitness wise, I have gotten a little lazy the past few Sundays and missed a workout, but not too many, and after another round of eating cookie dough, I am ready to get back to work on it. I refuse to allow myself to fall back to the way I was before. Aside from the cookie dough, I am still eating pretty healthy and cooking quite often.

Personal life I may have met someone, but I am going to take things slow, I want my next girlfriend to be someone I really stick with, I dont want it to be a just a few months kind of thing. So I am going to take my time, rather than rush head long into something and it not be right.

Comedy, well comedy is an absolute mixed bag right now. I had a great weekend as I had a challenge on my hands. I have a joke that I added a bunch of tags too. However the beginning part of the joke was by far and away the best part. Every tag added to the joke hit less and less, so my first thought try and reverse it, all that did was make even the really good part of the joke bad. So Saturday night my challenge was to elevate the tags to be on par with the beginning part of the bit. Saturday late show I did just that. Now it may be just a one time thing, but I guess we will find out this weekend.

Open mics I seem to be spinning my wheels. I seem to be just wasting time this week. Nothing I do works, None of my ideas make sense anymore. They start simply enough but as I elaborate it feels like they derail in a glorious fashion. I feel like my writing is either off or I am lost in a sea of disorganized tags to a funny idea. It’s been a little frustrating to say the least, another frustrating thing is myself. I am coming to the understanding I am not as good at this as I think I am, because as much as I like to think I am doing well, I seem to be the only one who feels that way. Not to say that I am doing poorly, but I may be thinking I am better at this than I am. Which is creating this emotional conflict in me, because it’s a tough pill to swallow, but the worst tasting medicine is probably the best medicine for you. It just hurts, because you want to believe that you could be on par with the people you work with. Sometimes though you just aren’t that skilled so it takes longer, and longer. When you feel like you aren’t moving you start to wonder if this is as far as you will be able to go on your journey? Will you always be stuck here? I just don’t know what else to do but bang my head against the wall until the wall breaks or I do.

Week 11 Parodies & Parity

Week 10 Fortune favors the bold

What a week, filled with solid open mics, workouts, and killer weekend shows.

Fitness wise we are holding steady, though I’ve done more indoor running than outdoor. I need to go back outside and run. I’ve also fallen victim to a sale on Pringles, which required me to eat 3 cans of Pringles in 3 days. In my defense they were low salt Pringles.

No dates this past week but do have some in the near future. We will see how that goes later on. Life wise still pretty going strong need to do more around the house but sleeping in feels so good.

Comedic wise this weekend was fantastic. It always feels good to get back to proven material and the responses it gets. Sometimes you need to remember you are good at something. I also accomplished 1 resolution which was work on becoming a feature. I inquired and was pleased with the answer. I won’t be featuring, but I did like the answer I got, and I will leave it at that.

This weekend I worked with Fortune Feimster of Chelsea Lately fame. What I have come to realize is that show has uncovered a new demographic that may be the most dedicated. Fortune was very humble and personable and everyone loved her. It made me feel good about comedy in general seeing someone so humble and down to earth even in the wake of her own success. Once Saturday night was over I realized I had to start back up at open mics and hone more material.

I need to work on stage presence and more substance in my writing I need to push farther.

Here we go again.

Week 9 Appearances are deceiving

I’m once again blogging from a treadmill deep in the heart of 24hr fitness. It’s been a wonderful week full of change and self improvement.

Let’s start with the physical stuff. I am still losing weight, and I am probably in the best shape I have been in the last 10 years. Im working with weights as well as running, and it has done wonders so far. In fact I found some old clothes I haven’t worn in years because they don’t fit. Well they fit in fact they fit loosely, and I actually look pretty good in some of the outfit combinations. I think I only have 2 pairs of jeans that don’t fit. Compared to 3 months ago when I only had 3 pairs that I could wear. I’m pretty stoked about that, and can’t wait for future dates when I can really dress to impress.

Another change I did was I actually picked a hairstyle and had a stylist actually style my hair. It looks really good, my routine before this was to let the stylist do what they wanted, or just really short. It’s kind of nice taking control of a situation and have it work in your favor.

Comedically I have been working on breaking out of the box with my material. Loosening up and just running through material. My DUI has gotten longer and it’s hard to time out. I feel like I am pulling more actual me than me the act on stage. It’s a little awkward, but getting better.

On Friday I had the adventure of the coffee date. It was pretty smooth as it got me out of that situation a whole lot sooner than a dinner date would’ve. Plus I’m drinking coffee which makes me more alert to her flaws and that we aren’t compatible. Dating is actually kind of fun, when I don’t feel compelled to try and really impress them. Which is one thing the incident taught me, that I’m ok with or without someone.

I’m excited for the upcoming weekend where I will be performing at hyenas in ft worth with Fortune Feimster. It should be a great time and lots of learning to do.

Week 8 There’s no return from 36

So alas it’s the new year and with it comes a birthday. I’m now 36 years old, 36… Hard to believe I’m 36 years old, I just don’t feel like I’m 36. With being 36 comes the feeling of not being 35. 36 is more obscure age, not as even as 35.

Anyways enough about my age, lets talk about my week. It started with NYE and some solid sets and some good times. New Year’s Day was then immediately spent nursing my humongous hangover from the night festivities. Wednesday was spent at open mic, where I got some more decent material reads. Thursday I did open mic twice in ft worth, which was definitely worth the trip. Friday and Saturday were spent honing new stuff at Backdoor, where I worked my new stuff. Friday i was surprised by a cake from dominique, and birthday wishes from everyone. Saturday brought 2 shows including one where I closed, and then came home and passed out after working 6 straight days.

Fitness wise I’m still lingering around the same weight, but I’ve been running on an elliptical this past week because outside has been wet and I hate running on the track when it’s wet. I ran outside for the first time today and I am still on pace that I was before Christmas. I am debating which mud run I want to do this year, but time will tell. I am getting back into a great routine.

Right now I am about to hit this open mic up right.

Week 7 only in the movies

So I spent a lot of this week not doing comedy due to holidays and cold weather there was not many to attend.

Same goes for the gym especially since I’ve been sick and bad weather and holidays. I’ve kept my weight around 157,

My adventure this week was going to the movies with friends. Some old and some new. All in all a pretty great time with some awesome movies and some terrible.

The awesome, django unchained. I won’t reveal anything just know there are few movies that I have been to where the audience actually applauds at the end.

The terrible, sinister what a great idea that turned into an awful rushed poor excuse of a film. They named the boogeyman, buguhl. Disney’s Mr. Boogity was scarier than buguhl.

I’m dreading the week to come, and I can’t wait til it’s over.

Week 7 end of 2012

All in all not a bad year but it got great at the end.

I can’t begin to describe how the incident has totally changed my life. I learned so much, I learned I can fall in love, and more importantly I learned I can also let her go. That was my biggest fear going into this relationship, that if I went all in would I handle being let go? I was afraid that I would constantly try and see her, call, text, anything to try and rekindle what we had all summer. I understood why I was let go and next time I’m in a relationship I will work harder to make those changes.

As for Jaimie, I wish her nothing but the best even if its not with me. Make no mistake I love her, I love her so much that I won’t try and screw up a potential friendship by not giving her time to move on without me, or with someone else. That’s the biggest lesson I learned, after relationship friendships take time. You can’t go from lovers to friends right away. (side note - I can, but only because I am too stupid to feel hurt or sad in that situation.)

I sometimes don’t realize the supposed gravity of certain situations. Like when the relationship ended I was relieved to have an answer. All I wanted after that was for Jaimie not to cry. She has totally helped me realize things about me I never thought I would.

I realized relationships are a big deal, but not that big of a deal. I no longer try to date every girl I meet that shows the slightest interest. I feel truly free like I can do anything.

I learned I’m a really great guy who got even better when he was let go. The night she wouldn’t talk to me I knew something was wrong, I went for a run to clear my mind. That night I realized why she wasn’t happy, I didn’t do enough to try and make her happy. I thought if I stayed in a holding pattern, everything would be ok. I should’ve done more and going forward I have, I’ve made time to work out, run, and I made time to do things other than comedy.

Now for the new year, I come in with a clean slate, truer emotions, and a better relationship with me. My goals are to move to feature this year, win the 2013 Funniest comic in Texas, get booked more at the improvs, more one nighters, to run some 5 and 10k’s, get a 6 pack, try and reteach myself how to break dance. All while being a better person, if I get another girlfriend, my goal is to work harder on doing things she wants, and to be better with how I feel.

Here’s to 2013,
Ryan Perrio
2013 FCiT champ.

Week 6 Perrio-pocalypse

So the Holiday Season is in full swing. I spent last week at a bunch of open mics getting some work in before my journey home for the weekend.

My fitness this week has been hampered by rain, snow, holidays, illness and travel. Oof for sure, but I did get some gym done right before it all set in.

My weekend adventure was a homeward drive to good old Houston TX. Where I stopped in at my all time favorite Mexican restaurant, Los Tios. I went there religiously as a child and love the puffy shell queso they make. They are truly my little bit of heaven. Then it was off to my dad’s to visit and the head off to beautiful (sarcasm) Beaumont Texas. To celebrate Christmas with my Dad’s side of the family. I started getting sick around this time, and sleeping on a couch didn’t really help.

Saturday I saw a lot of my family and we had a pretty good time talking and reminiscing as well as some pretty good food. Every year we do a white trash white elephant that way it is more fun and takes the frustration out of the whole gift giving process. I got a popcorn popper, which has proven quite useful as I used to use a skillet and oil. It would set off my smoke detector constantly. This doesn’t use oil and last night was a very useful space heater while it was popping corn.

This week has also been a week full of advice for my friends and family. I feel I have guided people through things that before the incident, I wouldn’t have any idea on how to approach before that.

I also had a date last week, I feel like I am ready to step forward and that was just that a step forward. I approached this date with less anxiety, and felt I could be myself without feeling pressure to impress her. All in all the date went well and time will tell if I go out with her again. However I like how things are and how I am working to make them better.

Week 5 project “unveil”

Ironically I’m blogging as I jog on an elliptical, as my back is a little achy so I’m gonna run further with less impact.

It’s been a crazy week full of revelation and change. Also a week full of booze, funny how those go hand in hand.

Sorry for the delay nothing worse than jogging and having your boxers bunch up on you. Anyways back to my week. Monday I watched with friends as my favorite football team had their ass handed to them on Monday night football. That was a little bit of a downer. However I had a great time, and the Texans still control their own destiny.

Almost a mile and a half into my run, still going strong. Tuesday, after work and a quick 1.5 mile run I met friends at fireside pies where I had whiskey and pizza to begin the long suicide run of 3 open mics starting in Dallas and ending in ft worth. We ended up doing 2 of 3 as the 3rd started too late for guys not used to being out that late.

2 miles in its a little hard to balance myself and type. Wednesday I didn’t do comedy to watch comedy as the funniest comic in Texas finals were going on at the Addison improv. It brought back memories of how validated I felt when I made the finals in 2010. That night I refocused on my comedy which had taken a hit the last few months. My goal is to win the FCiT in 2013. Which not only requires me to work harder, it also requires me to work smarter. Instead of just working material, I’m gonna work on other things.

3 miles in and I dunno if this was the best idea. I’m really wobbly when I try to write, but it’s been a good distraction from the treadmill display, but so has the hot chick on the stair master in front of me practicing her walk of shame.

Thursday started the project unveil with my first booking since the incident. It started with a baseline test. I took mental note of things like my comfort level, what jokes I did and in what order, also what jokes could I have done instead and how the jokes went over.

Ok goal of 4 miles reached and I’m at Walmart getting baking soda for cookies. Made a cash donation to Salvation Army, and on my way. Now I am at Kroger because I forgot margarine for my grilled cheese at Walmart. It’s amazing how lame your life can be when you multi-task.

Friday I asked some friends for my weaknesses. Some of them where that my confidence was not genuine, I don’t break away from my material, and my material can be formulaic. So I began working on them. Friday and Saturday I hammered at those weaknesses by altering my joke routine and just performing whatever jokes I felt come in my head. I started trying to be more outside the lines of what I have written. Then I started bringing the real confidence I have instead of the false bravado I have at most open mics. I am working on bringing more noise at open mics.

This week is Perrio-pacalypse weekend as I may spend the last day on earth with my dad’s side of the family for the end of the world weekend. It should be a fun non comedy weekend.

Fitness wise I continue to run a lot and push myself further. I’m down to 155 and still dropping. I feel great about it, and like rejection, it keeps me motivated.

So here is to project unveil, and the hope it brings a lot of success in 2013.

Week 4, recovery

So this week started with a vacation. It was originally intended to be used for a trip to Vegas. However those plans changed with the incident. If there is one positive of not going, its that financially it would have been an enormous burden on me. So I ended up staying home and getting back to a normal with me. A normal that isn’t me having trouble sleeping. It was a nice few days of doing nothing, well nothing and exercise.

I have been thinking about 12/21 and even though I highly doubt the world is going to end, I have been thinking and living my days as what if it is? I am about to enter a new emotional frontier this holiday season as I tell the people I cherish, friends and loved ones how I feel. It adds an element of fear when I call my family, I am not one that would normally do this. I used to be the guy that lives in his own world that cared, but really didn’t show them that I cared. That is a mistake I have made repeatedly in life without even realizing it.

Adventure wise this week my adventure embraced the idea that the world is ending. So I drove around highland park looking at the Christmas lights. It’s the simple things I appreciate. I enjoyed the views and miss decorating my house as a kid.

Fitness wise I am reaching the 2 mile mark with a little more regularity. Today the sidewalks were wet and slimy which made it more painful as I slipped more as I jogged. So I hit a little over a mile and then another mile on the elliptical at the gym later. I feel as though I am getting stronger.

Comedic wise it was an ok week. I did some of the classics, but new stuff could use more work. I made a new friend this week, which was nice I hope we can hang out soon, I had a lot of fun just talking without worrying if I was too mean.

All in all another fantastic week, hopefully I will learn more as I talk to loved ones and get ready to work a week at hyenas in Dallas.

Week 3 of my new life, It gets better

Let me first say thanks to all of my friends. It doesn’t seem like there are that many until you need them. My friends have been nothing but helpful as I struggle to understand how to proceed.

This week have been filled with sharing feelings with other friends that are going through what I am going through as well. That has been an enormous relief to me, not that they had bad things happen, but because I realized I am not alone in how I feel about this.

On the fitness front still working at it I reached the 2 mile mark this week, however I then had an intensive back workout at the gym. I learned how important back muscles are to running distances. A sore back reduces me to maybe a little over a mile. I also have shin splints, but I should probably stretch more. My weight is still hovering around 158-160 pounds, but I have way less coughing, wheezing and fainting.

On the comedic front, not much new to report, still exploring this new depth of emotion I gained from the incident. It’s a whole new world on that front. I had a corporate like show on Saturday, and I had a blast tip toeing around my risqué tags and keeping the laughs without them. It was a fun game of onstage cat and mouse where I would start the joke and then as I proceed try to word my way out of the situation of possibly offending someone. It was probably some of the most fun I have ever had with a five minute set I have ever had. Second show I hosted and worked on my MC skills and tried some new jokes which did ok.

On the adventure front, me and a friend went to the Chinese lantern festival out in fair park Friday night. It was an amazing display and we took turns taking pictures to see who got the best iPhone pictures. It was a great time, after we went and I introduced her to the greatness that is velvet taco. After velvet taco we went to Hyena’s to see the late show which she couldn’t stay for, so I just hung out and watched one of my comedy idols perform. While waiting for his time on stage he stopped me outside and had a real conversation with me about life, as I explained the changes I am making. It was a great motivator for me as I feel my changes were the correct changes to make.

So another fantastic week, I can’t wait for the next one, it seems like things are rolling great.

Quiet time

So I feel I am in a quiet period in my comedy. I haven’t really had any new ideas, just a new perspective on old ideas. I call these periods, my quiet time.

These are the times when I experience the most growth as a performer. I feel that starting to happen the emotional roller coaster I have been on has given me so much more emotional depth to play with.

I feel like an actor who has just learned a new method. Now I just need to work on harnessing these emotions and portraying them on stage.